Saturday, August 14, 2010

My posse

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I chose to call my dear friends who participated in the wedding my Wedding Posse. The were so awesome, I can hardly stand it. I didn't dictate what dress they should wear, but gave them some suggestions of colors I thought would look nice together. I think the colors turned out well, but I think what was really nice was for them to be able to pick out dresses they knew they would feel good in. 

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What I think this freedom also gave them, though, was a bit of stress because some people had a hard time finding a dress they liked in the colors I suggested. And a number of them bought 2-3 dresses and then decided what to wear at the last minute. That's cool with me, but I did wonder if I should have just dictated it and taken some of that stress away from them. No matter, I think that their faces say it all. I love these ladies.

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Friday, August 13, 2010

Tips for a Potluck Pie Wedding

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Pie Table // Photo by  Lindsay J. C. Lack
  1. Talk to you caterer and venue to make sure they're okay with outside desserts. 
  2. Ask your friends for help at least a month in advance. Be specific about what you want (we wanted home-made, not store-bought), and allow people to say no (don't make it an obligation.) If I were doing it again, I'd specify no cream pies so we wouldn't have to worry about spoilage.
  3. If you want to, provide a place for out-of-towners to make pies the day before. (We used my parent's kitchen.) 
    • If you are doing this, make sure to get recipes ahead of time so you know what ingredients to buy, visit thrift stores in advance to find some extra inexpensive pie pans, and make sure you have enough utensils on hand. 
    • Also, if you are doing this recruit someone to deliver the pies for you to the reception site. 
  4. Ask the pie-makers to commit to a pie 1-2 weeks ahead of the wedding so that you can make labels. I used this Martha Stewart template and the font (from Dafont) called Dutch & Harley. I set the labels out on the pie table for people to find the right one when they brought their pie in.
  5. Ask your caterer/venue about their pie serving utensils. If they don't have any or many, you may want to provide those as well. (We ended up using knives which wasn't the end of the world, but also not the best thing in the world either.)
  6. Roll with it and have fun! 
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Loving the Pie! // Photo by  Lindsay J. C. Lack

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Pie Day

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The supplies // Photo by me

So, from the time we got engaged, I knew I wanted pie, in some form, at our wedding. And what I really wanted would be for our friends and family to make us pies. Our friends have a tradition of "Culinary" dinners (really just glorified pot-lucks) and so I wanted to make an ode to that tradition at the wedding without a full-on potluck wedding (which I didn't think my planner-nature could handle.) My family also has "Pie-night" during family reunions during which we end up, generally, with more pies than people and very full stomachs.

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My dad and my dear friend peeling apples // Photo by me

Because so many of my family members were coming in from out of town, my mother opened up her house for a "pie-day" so that all the out-of-town family members could make a pie for the wedding. It worked out wonderfully. They sent me their recipes ahead of time so that I could know what ingredients we needed to pick up. Then, on the day of the pie-making, my friend and I went shopping for massive amounts of berries, butter and sugar. Working together we all managed to get 8 pies made and baked in a little under 3 hours and then even had time for lunch.

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Labels I made using this Martha Stewart template // Photo by me

What made this so great, though, wasn't just being able to have home-made pies at the wedding, but the emergent family-reunion feel we all got to experience through the pie-day activities. Not all the family members made a pie, but everyone did end up being around the house for lunch and it felt just like gathering at Grandma's house in Indiana.

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Family pies! // Photo by me





Wednesday, August 11, 2010

City Guide (to Denver)

We included a most awesome Guide to Denver in our bags for out of towners. It was 9 pages of good places to eat, explore, visit, shop, and drink. It even included a LoDo brewery tour. The Google Docs version looks a little crappy, but if you download the PDF it becomes clear again.

I'm including it here if anyone wants to see what I did. Contact me if you're a Denver person who wants to modify it for your own use and I'll send you the editable version.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Reuasable bags for out-of-towners

We wanted to give our guests from out of town a little something to thank them for coming in for the Memorial Weekend to spend time with us. And, we knew that we'd be busier than normal and wanted to show off our cute little city. So, we got some very cheap canvas bags ($0.59 ea) from Cheaptotes.com, and a cute stamp from Hobby Lobby. And I used green acrylic paint to stamp the design onto the bags. If you aren't unemployed while you're planning your wedding, maybe this is a step you could skip. But if you have some time, it does make it a little bit special.

What I really liked was seeing my family members using the little bags to haul stuff between my parent's house and their hotel the day after they got them. It was easy and a much "greener" (but not more expensive) choice than using gift bags for these things.

Inside the bags, we also included some water, some granola bars, a little chocolate, and a guide to Denver that I'll talk about tomorrow!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Recaps begin: The no-presents, just music wedding shower, with aura photographs

I think I forgot to tell you about our amazing wedding shower (yes, of course it was co-ed) that T's parents threw for us.

It would be worthy enough to talk about when you realize that they cooked Greek food for about 40 people. Delicious Greek food to honor the side of T's and his mom's family that are Greek.

Wedding Shower

But, they also hired an aura photographer to come to the party and photograph everyone's auras. If it is in your budget at some time in your life, I highly recommend inviting an aura photographer to come to a party. This was such a wonderful way for people who may not already know each other to interact. Even the people that thought the auras were bunk had fun comparing things and comparing notes about why they thought it wasn't true. For the people that thought it wasn't bunk, there was just as much to talk about. Everyone had a great time.

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Wedding Shower

And, T and I asked for no gifts. We didn't need much stuff and didn't want our closest friends to feel like they had to buy us gifts to come to the party. With the recession and tight wallets everywhere, we just wanted to be able to spend time with our friends. Instead, we asked all our friends to burn us some CD's of music they wanted to hear at the wedding. The work our friends put into these simple gifts was unbelievable. There were inside jokes, concert remembrances, long-lost pictures and just some really good music throughout. After the party, T and I spent weeks listening to all the music and deciding what should go on the wedding mix.

It was glorious.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Done

Well, we did it. The wedding was absolutely perfect.

For anyone else out there that is planning a wedding right now, I have this to say to you: Stop stressing. It will all come together and it will be great.

Our people surrounded us in love the whole weekend. They helped us get things done as needed, and did things we didn't even know needed doing. They all had out backs because it was a day of joy and happiness. And let me tell you, did we have a good party afterward, too. I couldn't have asked for anything more. It was the absolute best version of what I could have hoped for. Whe weather was beautiful in the mid 70's, the sun was out, our ceremony was a little bit different and really awesome. The reception venue, Vita, was excellent. We worried about nothing.

And now we're married and I almost can't believe it. Life feels the same in most ways, but there is something so awesome about standing in front of your family and friends and saying, Hey, we're family now. Recognize our family, and please support us when we need it.

I'll post some more pictures in a bit, and tell you about out awesome ceremony, the family-reunion pie-making factory, my collect-as-I-walk flowers soon.

But now, I'm going to relish my delicious cup of coffee and the burning desire to enjoy the fact that there isn't any more wedding planning to do!



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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Laissez les bon temps rouler

(Photo from Wikipedia)

Maybe it was the charming accents featured in our new T.V. obsession (True Blood) or maybe it just sounded like fun. But today we booked our mini-honeymoon for the sweet town of New Orleans. I can't wait. I've never been there, but look forward to excessive eating of Cajun delights, daily live music, sitting by the salt-water pool in the hotel we booked, possibly drinking large beverages in the streets, and generally just having an easy time in the Big Easy. 

We'll be there for just 3 nights and 4 days so that we can come back to attend one of my friends' graduation party, and an other friend's wedding celebration, but I've heard that is just about the right amount of time for New Orleans. 


Saturday, April 17, 2010

I feel like I've clocked the Wedding Monster in the snout. I'm going to have our wedding guests help me make my bouquet. Every time I look at pictures of wedding bouquets, they make me feel strangled because the flowers are cinched together in an unnatural state of rigidity "with a piece of satin matching your dress." Gag.

I ordered one for myself, but haven't felt settled about it because I don't really like the way they look and they don't reflect the loosey-gooseyness and joy that I want to feel that day. Plus, hello, they are extremely expensive. I'm still going to have the florist create the succulent boutonnieres for the guys, and I think I'll have her make a succulent "stock" on which to start my bouquet. We'll have enough flowers that we can put together some for the pictures before the ceremony. And we can put together some bouquets for the my Posse as well. This feels good and I'm excited for it.

This is what wedding planning SHOULD be. Finding the things that make me giddy with joy when I think about it, instead of unquestionably following some pattern. I love this.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Also

I am in lust with these cowgirl boots from Sheplers.







I was thinking I would wear these shoes for the weddin':

They are quite comfortable. And they are quite cute. And yellow. And have a nice low heel. And they're vintage-y.... but, there's something great about those cowgirl boots....

Best blooms idea ever

Did you read this post on A Practical Wedding today?

The bride assembles the flowers for her bouquet from the guests!! I can't handle how freaking awesome this is. It is such a beautiful and simple way to incorporate all of the guests in the ceremony.

 


Thursday, April 15, 2010

Beautiful and Free templates!

This website is freaking sweet. The name says it all: Dowloadandprint.com. I know I just went off of some of the negatives of some DIY projects, but sometimes, like this, it is waaaayyy money saving. I don't want to pay to have our programs designed for us, so I was planning to just put them together in Word and print them off. But with this! This could make them really pretty and these templates are FREE.

This of this little sugar magnolia printed on craft paper. Oh lordy, I'm getting excited already.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Why DIY isn't so cost saving

Image from 100 Layer Cake, of course

I was reading this article on 100 Layer Cake yesterday about how to make these little honey-pot favors for guests. They are pretty cute, I guess. And, I have a thing for honey. Colorado has some really delicious wild-flower honey that I would LOVE to share with my guests.

But, when I started thinking about it, and priced it out, this little project will cost approximately $326 for 100 guests. That's $3.26 per person, which is actually enough just to buy them a full jar of honey. No rosemary, but also no mess.

Here's my price breakdown:
  • Cute jars from Hobby Lobby: $2  X 100 = $200
  • Honey @ $3.50/lb. (bulk), with 1/8 lb in each jar, that's about $42
  • Rosemary, (out of season here), but lets say you can buy some $5 plants and get 10 sprigs off of each, that's $50  
  • Cheese cloth = $5
  • Punch = $12
  • Ribbon (craft ribbon on sale) = $4
  • ink= $13
Maybe I'm missing something, but this seems like a sticky, messy, annoying project.

Plus, you're supposed to put the cheese cloth under the cap? Why? It'll  just get all sticky and gross.

And what about the 60% of our guests who are flying here? Does honey count as something that you can't carry on?

I'm all for doing something special for people, and I think that is why doing things yourself can be fun and meaningful. It lets you do something special for your guests that you've laid your hands on and that is important to me. But, this indie-blog world emphasizes the ease, cost savings and indie-ness of DIY so much that I think we loose track of what DIY really can be. It doesn't always save money. It isn't always easy. More often than not, it doesn't save stress. And it never saves time.

Friday, April 9, 2010

The beginnings of some pie stands

Have I mentioned here that we're having pie at the wedding reception? Ideally, our friends and family members who would like to, will make a pie and bring it to the reception venue. I'm pretty sure we'll have enough this way, but I have a back-up bakery in mind just in case.

I've been thinking that I'd like have the pies displayed in a nice way. Just because it isn't wedding cake doesn't mean it shouldn't be pretty. So, I spent a little time looking at thrift stores for cake stands. I thought that would be easy enough? I was not correct in that assumption. No cake stands.

Okay, so I thought, maybe I'd just get a bunch of logs cut to different heights and the pies could sit on those. But, apparently, I have no idea where to find those types of things.

Then, I saw this tutorial from Design Sponge on how to make your own cake stands and I'm gonna do it. I've begun scouring the thrift stores for wide candle bases, and cute, flowery plates.




So, this is what I have so far... a couple plates and a number of stands. Still some collecting work to do, but I think I like them!
*All photos by me*

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Invitations!

It has been full blast of getting sh*t done around these parts and it feels really good. Exciting, even. The big pain in the ass stuff is finally getting cleared off and I'm left to do the fun crafty things that I actually *like* doing. Like our invitations.


We ordered our invitations, printed, from VoHandmade on Etsy. She was really easy to work with and has some fun designs. For people trying to save a buck, she also does offer a "print at home" option for $50 which is pretty dang reasonable if you want to spend the time to do it.

I also bought the cutest hand-carved bird stamp from Corrabelle on Etsy (without the date.)

I wrapped some craft-paper ribbon around each invitation, then stamped the band using white ink, and then wrote the invitees first names on the ribbon above the birds. I think it came out looking pretty sweet and added a personal touch to them without a lot of expense. (Time, yes, but expense, not so much. The ribbon was $4, the stamp was $28 and the ink was $7).


  We also included a reception card and an invite to the "welcome fiesta" that I printed at Kinkos (and was not thrilled with the quality), as well as a reminder of our wedding website that I printed at home on craft paper and then stamped with one of the birds using a green opaque ink.

I had addressed them in a mix of script and block lettering. I think it looked just fine. I could have done calligraphy, but it would have taken a lot longer and also looked kinda sh*tty, so this was a good compromise. And, of course we used the "Love" stamps. I'm too lazy for vintage, but I still want them to look nice.





*All photos by me*

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Rings!

Wedding Things

We purchased our rings the other day after a very short trip to Victoriana on Larimer Street. The salesperson was so sweet with us. She didn't pressure us, asked our budget and kept us within it, honored my request for a "recycled" ring, and best of all, she found us rings that fit that we could walk out of the store with. To date it was my most enjoyable interaction with a wedding vendor. (I'm also willing to say it had something to do with having T there, who is a lot better at making decisions on the spot than I am. Were I alone, I might have waffled about it.)

Wedding Things

But, here the rings are. T's is a white gold ring. Not recycled, but very nice looking. And mine is vintage from 1930. It is platinum with 9 tiny tiny diamonds. I have a thing against most diamonds, but these ones have been there for a while and aren't creating any immediate damage. And, it is pretty and simple and looks really good with the aquamarine ring I already wear.

Wedding Things

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

2000 Dollar Budget Wedding Bookclub: Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert


I participated in the 2000 Dollar Budget Wedding Book Club by reading Committed: A skeptic makes peace with Marriage by Elizabeth Gilbert this week.

I found this book generally thought provoking if not a little annoying at times (her story is a bit unique, I'd say). I will say that because I'm getting married in, oh, I don't know, 74 days and 23 hours, I think I found the subject matter slightly more interesting that other people at different times in their lives and relationships might. But that's fine. For me, I found myself reading and thinking a lot about my upcoming marriage and my current partnership. And, as I enter the homestretch of getting married, I think that is a very good thing.

I'll just go ahead and admit that I have been a marriage skeptic most of my life. In a lot of ways I still am and I'm still in the process of negotiating my skepticism with the excitement/joy/peace I feel about marrying T. Some of my own skepticism can be blamed on the ridiculous pressure we are all put under by (American) society and such to get married. In a number of Scandinavian countries in particular, marriage is considered pretty passe. If I were living there, would T and I be getting married? How much of our interest in marriage is simply society's influence on us and how much do I want to embrace that or reject it? And the other main skepticism lies within the question of if marriage truly is good for both people (and particularly for women in heterosexual couples) in the long run. There are too many examples of couples who I know personally or from a short distance who turn figuratively gray after being in their marriage. They loose their color, or that phrase I love of Alice Walkers, they become juiceless.  I think, when it comes down to it, that is my greatest (irrational?) fear about my own marriage. I do not want to become juiceless and gray and so I want to understand my own draw toward marriage, why I want to be a part of it, and understand what makes a marriage JUICY.

I think that in her own somewhat meandering way Glibert did a good job of addressing similar questions, even though her own situation did tend to dwell a lot on avoiding the pain of a divorce rather that the fear of becoming juiceless. I thought about a lot of things as I processed this book, but here are a few main points:

1.  Marriage as a limiting life variable. And that can actually be kind of awesome.
On pages 44 and 45, Gilbert talks about the somewhat unique situation couples these days find themselves in: the situation of overwhelming choices. She points out that "with these choices comes doubt about the right path and the times when one door closes another." I was surprised to feel this most forcefully when T and I get engaged. Even though I was happy and excited, I was also suffering a sense of loss. It wasn't loss of something REAL though, it was a sense of loss of that which could no longer be. It's not that I was ever going to go take off and live in Italy with my lover named... Mario, but that option was now closed to me. And, it wasn't like I was really going to ever drop everything and jump on a plane to Israel to work in international aid. But, for some reason with our engagement, I felt those rather impractical dreams drop away.

The reason I never would do those things is because I was already with T. I love him and I want to make my life plans with him. If I want to go live in Italy, it is going to be with him. And if I go work in the West Bank, I'm going to arrange it so it doesn't negatively impact his life too much. So, even though I sort of knew those things, there was something about becoming officially engaged that drove those points home for me. I was letting go of those old dreams that I developed as a single person and there was a sense of loss at letting those go. But, there is also something really wonderful about changing those dreams to become more practical. Knowing that T is my partner in life means that he can support me in my decisons and join me if he'd like. It also means that my dreams necessarily will involve a lot more talking. A lot more negotiation. And they aren't quite as wunderlust romantic.

So, I think what this book helped think about is the fact that marriage is the closing of some doors. Sometimes that is hard for independent lil' me to accept this. I don't like shutting doors so my marriage won't include that! But it must and that isn't a bad thing. While some doors close, it also makes the path ahead more intricate, real and possible.



2. Discussing, admitting, and accepting your partner's flaws
 Gilbert, at one point in her engagement walks up to Filipe and presents him with her flaws. All of them that she can think of and some of them aren't that savory. They show a self-knowledge, and an understanding of what she needs and how that sometimes effects those around her. I think this effort of self disclosure takes a lot of strength and ability to be truthful and also trusting of your partner. I'm not sure what I'd put on my list of "faults" to bring to T, but I'm going to think about it. I really liked what she said about the ultimate acceptance that Filipe gives her after she presents him with this list. Of that she say, "there is hardly a more gracious givft that we can offer somebody than to accept them fully, to love them almost despite themselves" (p. 130). I think this might be one of the cornerstones of marriage and so I want to work on this, without necessarily accepting the things that are destructive of course.

Later on in the book, Gilbert is also honest about some of the things she doesn't like about the way Filipe sometimes interacts with people and the way he deals with travel uncertainty. And, what I really appreciated about this was her ability to admit that he has faults, specific things that she really does not like, but that those essentially small parts of him are not going to make their relationship fall apart. Instead she looks at them honestly, admits she doesn't like them, and then attempts to make his experience with their situation a little better without sacrificing her own needs. Another important lesson for any partnership.

3. The Marriage Benefit Imbalance (p. 167) & Children
I'm not sure what to make of this. Essentially, sociologists have found that while men greatly benefit from being married compared to their single counterparts, married women do not experience those same benefits. Compared to single women, married women don't live as long, don't accumulate as much money, don't thrive in their careers, are less healthy, more likely to suffer depression and, here's my favorite, to die a violent death.

I have some questions about the measures and the outcomes of this study-- I'd like to look at them myself--but it seems easy to presume that a large number of these issues stem from being a primary care-provider of children. And, I guess if anything, this just points out the necessity of the parents being partners to each other, including in the raising of kids. I know this is something that we'll probably mostly have to figure out when we get there, but I do want to make sure that we are always working on being kind, respectful and careful with eachother's needs, wants and time.

4. The importance of ceremony
 Here's another thing I've been thinking about a lot. Why are we having a ceremony? I know I want one, but WHY? And, why to do I feel like I want to profess my love to T in front of our friends and family. We already know we are committed so why do we have to make a big deal out of it? Why not simply keep moving forward in the way we have been?

I liked Gilbert's discussion of this. She notes Joseph Campbell (gosh I love him) as pointing out that ceremony is a way to "draw a circle between the momentous and the ordinary" (p. 248). That's true, for me. And later on she goes on to discuss the ceremony's importance to other people in their lives. She affirms that:
marriage is not an act of prayer. Instead, it is both a public and a private concern, with real-world consequences. While the intimate terms of our relationship would always belong solely to Filipe and met, it was important to remember that a small share of our marriage would always belong to our families as well-- to all those people who would be most seriously affected by our success or failure (p. 276). 
The more I think about it, the more I think about the ceremony as 1. a way to mark this occasion from other day-to-day riff-raff, but also by committing to each other in front of our friends and family we are asking for their support in our marriage. In the good time and in the times when we may need the assistance of our safety net with things like kids or our relationship.

5. Marriage as a rebellious act and the power of intimacy
I thought this discussion was pretty interesting. In a nutshell, Gilbert talks about a book by Ferdinand Mount that discusses how the act of intimacy in marriage can actually be seen as a rebellious act. He argues this because political/religious powers have been trying to dictate what marriage is for a long long time. When we get married, but also develop a private intimacy-- what develops in the day-to-day like cooking and eating meals, and in those moments before we fall asleep-- that is untouchable by any institution, and that is rebellious.

Now, I'm not sure if I'd quite go that far. Gilbert seems to be more concerned with the disciplining nature of state and religious institutions rather than the very large forces of society and culture on our way of thinking, but I still found her poetry of intimacy rather touching. And, it makes a nice argument for every relationship being unique because of the intimacy that develops between those two people. It is their own and no one else's. It reminds of Robert Bly's poem, the Third Body (which is rather unfortunately very hetero, but you get the idea):
A man and a woman sit near each other, and they do not long
at this moment to be older, or younger, nor born in any other
nation, or time, or place.

They are content to be where they are, talking or not-talking.

Their breaths together feed someone whom we do not know.

The man sees the way his fingers move; he sees her hands close
around a book she hands to him.

They obey a third body that they share in common.

They have made a promise to love that body.

Age may come, parting may come, death will come.

A man and a woman sit near each other;

as they breathe they feed someone we do not know, someone we
know of, whom we have never seen.

Overall, I think it is a great meditation on marriage as long as you let yourself think about her points for yourself. Her situation is enormously unique, but for anyone getting married, in particular, I think this is a valuable read.

Monday, March 15, 2010

On seeking peace

I'm having a day overwhelmed by a feeling of peace about this wedding business. I've spent many months not necessarily stressing-out, but instead suffering from "monkey-mind"-- that cyclical and endless line of questions and doubts and second guessing and decisions about what this wedding day is going to look like. Which, when it comes down to it, is completely not the point. The point is to have fun. To spend time with my family and friends who I don't get to see very often. And to get married to T in the presence of the people who mean something to me and to him and to us.

I'm not sure of all the things that have coalesced to this feeling of peace, and I'm not really sure if it will last or not. I do know that I've noticed several weddings on the blogs over the past few weeks whose theme (if you can even call it that) is simplicity. Being grounded and serene and focused on the people who are there with you, rather than focused on exquisite pictures of the charming ___________(fill in the blank: invitations/flowers/centerpieces/boutonneirs/dress/headpiece/favor/etc.) And that is sort of... game changing for me.

She's been getting a lot of press for her amazingly awesome post about wedding photos, but I still have to give it to A Los Angeles Love for doing such a good job of articulating the effect that wedding media can have on our expectations for ourselves and our weddings. And, its true: the majority of the weddings I see, and the "inspiration" I look at are hand picked. First by the photographer, possibly second by the couple, and third by the publishing blog. That is a lot of picky eyes out there whiddling down the photos we see to several types of the most amazing looking weddings out there in terms of the decoration.

It is easy to loose sight of this. I know that when I take photos, I'm careful to begin with to frame my subject in the most flattering way. Sometime I exclude parts of the surrounding that don't add to the beauty of the picture. So, from the very beginning, the photos we're all looking at are edited before they are ever touched by Photoshop. And then, when I post artistic photos, I select the ones I like the most. That's actually rule number one of any photographer-- display the good stuff. And, I do the same thing when it comes to myself. All the pictures that I have on Facebook are photographs that make me look good. I'm not going to post something that makes me look for feel crappy about myself. And on this blog, I find things that I like and post those too.

So, I know that all these blogs showing off the most pretty stuff it isn't coming from a bad place, but the end result ends up being rather pretty weddings that I feel like I can't really grasp. It seems like I should be able to because these people have done it and they talk about how they did it with the ease of someone telling you how to make a nice pie or something. I think I have it in my mind that blogs are somehow more *real* because they are written by any-old person and therefore more accessible and the beauty standards more reachable. But, except for a few of my favorites, the wedding blogs I look at feature magazine quality weddings with a giant and overwhelming amount of decorative "stuff".

But that's not the point. That was never the point for T and I when we talked about getting married in the first place. The point is to get married in a way that feels right and natural for us. The point is to include our friends and families so that it doesn't feel like a show; it feels like a celebration. And the point is to be grounded, joyful and engaged with exactly what is happening that day.

And somehow, I think I'm finally getting that. I feel like things are in place. They will be a nice celebration, and I don't need to worry about anything that we're not doing. People will either like the way we do it, or they won't, but that doesn't really matter. And the fact is that as long as we do things the way we want to do them, everyone will be cool with it. They will because they're at our wedding and they love us and they just want to be there to witness us declare our love for one another and tie the knot. And that's it. Simple, and peaceful.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Say "Second Guess" to the dress....

 
Pictures by Garrett Grove via 100 Layer Cake

So, when I saw this wedding on 100 Layer Cake  I had the thought, "maybe that's the dress I want to wear." See, when T and I first talked about getting married, it was that dress, in a short version, in ivory that I thought I might buy. This one
 
I thought it would be a great way to have an inexpensive dress for a fun inexpensive wedding. It would be short, I would be able to move around. It would be SIMPLE. It looks to be the kind of dress that I feel good in--that fits me in the right places and falls away in the right places. But, maybe, I wondered, would it be too simple? 

And then my parents offered us a nice sum of money to fund our celebration and I thought that maybe I should go ahead and look around for something that was a little more original, a little more "wedding-y."  I put the idea of this dress on the back-burner and subsequently forgot about it.

And then I went ahead and, after weeks and weeks of trying on wedding dresses at wedding boutiques, all of which I did not care for, it seemed, I commissioned a dress to be made for my by a local seamstress. This is nice option which allows me to have nice fabric for a nice price. Except, it's been two months and I'm wondering what I even ordered at this point. And will I love it? How do I know? What if I don't like it? What if, what if, what if?

The dress I ordered is strapless. Is that going to bother me all night? What if I don't like the undergarments I've been told to wear with a strapless dress? And look at how easy that dress seems to be to wear. Look at how easy she is in it. It's like she's just free to walk about and be pretty and not stress and not worry about her top falling out. It just looks so SIMPLE.

Look at it: 
 J. Crew Silk Chiffon Sophia Gown ($395)

I mean, I know I'm being kind of crazy... but I am kind of thinking about it. We have money in the budget. Should I buy a "just in case" dress? Is that totally ridiculous? Do I want to be one of those people? (One of "those" brides?)

And, okay, so, after all this. I think I can safely say this is ridiculous. I'm not going to order a "just-in-case" dress. But, maybe I will keep this in the back of my mind if my dress just doesn't cut it. In the mean time, I just have to be patient. And chill.