Thursday, July 23, 2009

Ceremony and Reception Dilemmas

I've been contemplating whether I want to turn this into a full-blown Getting-Married Blog because it seems like it's totally the thing to do these days. I mean, if you get people to follow that shit, you get, like free stuff. And I love free stuff. But, I just don't think I'm going to do that. I'm going to write about wedding planning and my total trepidation and frustration and confusion about it, but I will still include all the other stuff that I blog about. Which, I guess is my trepidation and frustration and confusion about school?

Anyway, my current dilemma, for which T is really no help at all because he supposedly doesn't care, and/or he wants me to figure out what I really want before he puts in to weighty of a position, is what kind of ceremony and reception we want to have. This is really the very first thing we need to figure out because once we have a location (or two, or three) we can start getting everything else put together.

So, here are my options as I see them:
1. Traditional: Ceremony followed directly by a reception in the same place, inviting everyone we want to both ceremony and reception. (Denver Botanic Gardens at Chatfield, $1900 for a Saturday evening from 4pm-11pm, but you get a 10% discount if you're a member and that only costs $54.... so really it's about $1764)
Pros:
  • Invite everyone, no-one is excluded
  • More traditional so people know what to expect
  • Everyone would be together for an extended time in a comfortable outdoor area
  • We could have a large Friday Dinner at Vine Street which would be fun.
Cons:
  • The ceremony feels more like a performance than an intimate ritual of devotion
  • It might be harder for us to set everything up
  • We'd have to be out by 11, not sure if that is late enough
  • We'd have to hire a preferred caterer
  • The ceremony wouldn't be in the mountains
  • We'd probably have to rent a shuttle to go from Denver to the place and back
2. A small wedding-party-only ceremony in the mountains (RMNP --2 hrs. away-- or Panorama Point in Golden Gate Canyon State Park--1 hour away-- followed by an invite-everyone reception at a bar or Denver mansion (maybe Walnut Room or the ALD Mansion). This would likely mean a ceremony on Friday and a reception on Saturday.
Pros:
  • A more intimate ceremony
  • It could be on a mountain with beautiful views
  • A more casual ceremony-- people could bring their own chairs and I'd worry less about planning
  • The ceremony sounds more fun and personal
  • Could most likely hire own caterer for the reception
  • We could stay late into the night
Cons:
  • We'd be excluding some people from the ceremony that might feel left out.
  • The Friday evening dinner would be awkward-- do we invite out of town guests who are already in town, but didn't go to the ceremony?
  • We'd have to have two different invitations so it would take more paper/work
  • People flying in for the ceremony would have to take at least 2 days off work.
3. A small wedding-party-only ceremony in the mountains followed by a small wedding-party-only reception on the same day.
Pros:
  • A more intimate ceremony and reception-- we'd get a chance to talk to everyone
  • It could be on a mountain with beautiful views
  • A more casual ceremony-- people could bring their own chairs
  • It sound more fun and personal

Cons:
  • Everyone in our lives wouldn't be able to come to the reception and that might piss some people off...
  • Would it feel weird to get married and then hang out with people for the next few days? Maybe we'll just want to chill out.

4. Invite everyone to a ceremony in the mountains, then make everyone drive back to Denver for the reception.
Pros:
  • Mountain Ceremony
  • Everyone is invited
  • Reception and drinking close to home for most of our friends
Cons:
  • Lots of time in cars means necessity of renting cars, carpooling and wasting gas.
  • Four hours in the car on a day when we're already pretty busy and celebrating doesn't sound like a lot of fun. I'll be worrying about how other people are enjoying themselves.

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