I don't want a bridal shower. I don't want to invite people to hang out with me under the pretense that they should buy me a gift. And, I don't like stuff for stuff's sake. Yes, there are things for the house that I'd like to have some day, but I don't want my already cash-strapped friends to feel obligated to buy them for me. And, the history behind bridal showers was to help poor women come up with a dowry if her family couldn't make it happen. A dowry to pay the groom for marrying her and taking on the burden of her. A trousseau that would include negligee and other accoutrement that make a woman a good wife. And, I'm all for having a healthy sexual relationship with my partner, but they don't throw neglige parties for men. The whole thing just feels to sexist for me to participate in.
However, my soon to be mother-in-law, really wants to throw one and it would make her so happy, and would help her feel included and I don't want to tell her no.
I have suggested that the gifts be music only in the form of burned CD's or bought CD's and I think that will work nicely.
And I have suggested that it be more like a party that includes both men and women-- very simply Trey's and my good friends--and just celebrate together.
I'm hoping that these changes make it better and not worse. It does become more like a party and would include way more people than they were planning on. I feel like this puts them out as a result and I don't like that, but neither of us really wants to leave people out.
I think this is yet another wedding thing that I will choose to give up to. I have made my stand on some of the more important things and now I'll just let my MIH do what she wants. This is compromise. This is family.